"Since you've gone I've lost that chip on my shoulder..."

ENDING A FRIENDSHIP

While I was getting ready for school early this morning, I was listening to my ipod and Lily Allen's song "I Could Say" came on. As I was singing along, I realized that it reminded me a lot about a friendship that has recently ended in my life.

Here are the lyrics:

I could say that I'll always be here for you
But that would be a lie and quite a pointless thing to do
I could say that I'll always have feelings for you
But I've got a life ahead of me and I'm only 22

Since you've gone I've lost that chip on my shoulder
Since you've gone I feel like I've gotten older
Now you're gone it's as if the whole wide world is my stage
Now you're gone it's like I've been let out of my cage

You always made it clear that you hated my friends
You made me feel so guilty when I was running round with them
And everything was always about being cool
And now I've come to realize there's nothing cool about you at all

Since you've gone I've lost that chip on my shoulder

Since you've gone I feel like I've gotten older

Now you're gone it's as if the whole wide world is my stage

Now you're gone it's like I've been let out of my cage

Since you've gone I've lost that chip on my shoulder

Since you've gone I feel like I've gotten older

Now you're gone it's as if the whole wide world is my stage

Now you're gone it's like I've been let out of my cage

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Are you part of a friendship that literally drains you? Are you hanging onto the friendship just for the benefit of the other person? Feel trapped? From my whole experience, I'd like to share some advice.

1)  What's the problem?

          Sit back and really think about why you two aren't seeing eye to eye. Arguing with each other constantly is NOT normal. Sure, it's normal to get into fights every now and then but it's a problem when it becomes frequent. Maybe the other person is going through personal problems that you're not aware of. Maybe the other person is overly stressed and you always seem to get on their last nerve. Or maybe that person has just changed. Take the time to sit down with this person and express your feelings with them in a calm and orderly manner. Arguing back with them isn't going to solve anything.

2)  Sticks & Stones

          Is this person calling you hurtful names? Are they saying things to you that they claim were only because "they were mad" or "they didn't mean it"? NO friend should ever call you bad names EVER. It is not something you should tolerate, let alone forgive. You are not a human punching bag. Don't allow them to walk all over you.

3)  Me, Myself, & I

          You need to think for yourself. If this person is emotionally abusing you, taking your friendship for granted, and putting no effort into fixing the friendship, you need to let them go. DON'T hold onto a friendship if you are gaining nothing from it. You want friends who care about you in every way, who lift your spirits when you are upset, who are there for you when you need them, who you can be yourself with, and who love you with all of their heart. 

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I hope this was helpful to you in some way. You will meet so many people in your future that will be beneficial to your life. You don't need to waste your time on high school drama. Be mature and true to yourself. Trust your gut and listen to your heart.

XOXO